Not me, not me.

It is so, so, so, so, so easy... to focus on other people's problems.

I remember being a little kid. I think we all were at some point. And at some point, something happens where both you and your friend get into trouble. Sternly, you're both confronted by a parent, who calls for you both to explain yourselves. This is a measure of guilt recognition. The parent wants you to come out, say that what you did is wrong and that your guilt is proof of that. Of course, this does not happen. What happens?

Parent: What did you do wrong?

Kid 1: Well he did this.

Kid 2: But he did that.

Kid 1: Yeah well, he started it.

Kid 2: You started it.

Kid 1: It's his fault.

Kid 2: It's his fault.

No one can escape this. I don't understand people that keep track of which sins they haven't committed. Some people think they don't lie. These kids are comparing the sticks in their brother's eye while ignoring the planks in their own. Sure, these kids grow up, and then they do the same thing, except this time while pretending that they have the other's best interest at heart:

Grown-up 1: He's made the wrong choices. I'll show him the right ones.

Grown-up 2: He's not looking at it from my point of view. If he would listen to me, he'd understand.

Grown-up 1: I'm trying to help you.

Grown-up 2: I'm trying to help you.

What if God's the parent? Maybe when we make mistakes with people he asks us what we did wrong instead of telling us what to do straight out. But instead of trying to HELP OURSELVES, we get caught up in our guilt and start playing the blame-game. Maybe we're trying to distract ourselves from ourselves because it's easier to deal with other people's problems.

This relates to stoicism. I find myself trying to be strong so I can solve a problem, but sometimes I find I'm the problem. Almost always, if I am feeling sorry for myself or judgmental of someone, it's my problem.

I don't think there's room for judges in the church. There's only one chair and it's occupied.

So, how do you solve the disagreement? You don't. You admit defeat and make a choice to love yourself and to love the other. You love yourself by digging into your heart and pulling the crap out of it so you can see it. You love the other by apologizing. And there's no third step of apologizing to God. He teaches us if we love others we love Him. In other words, if I apologize to God and don't apologize to the person, my prayers still count for something, just not very much.

... It's so much easier to not love at all.